[1]:Camila Cabello and Shawn Mendes

Love is hard, and the internet has made the ability to find compatible romantic partners infinitely easier—just look at OkCupid, Match.com, and Tinder. What if you could get all the benefits of online dating without the ghosts?

Tinder is a relatively new app for the iPhone that eliminates the need to ask a potential date to meet you in person. That’s right, you can browse the profiles of thousands of users, swipe right on potential matches, and then never see who they are or what they’re like in real life. It’s pretty much that simple.

Tinder’s great for a variety of reasons, not least of which is that it’s free. The app also makes it easy for users to create a profile with only basic details about themselves and their interest in others (the site focuses on casual sex, so it’s designed to weed out everyone who’s looking for a relationship). The best part about Tinder, though, is that it also acts as a conversation starter—users can post photos and messages to one another, and, if they really like someone, they can “heart” them. This is a much easier way to introduce yourself to someone and to learn more about their personality and sense of humor. What’s better is that since your profile only shows your likeness, you don’t have to worry about compromising your face or clothes in some flirty attempt to impress a potential date.

Once you’ve found someone you like—or, more importantly, think you might like—you can go offline and chat with them with a phone or with the apps chat feature. The app is discreet, so you don’t have to worry about your date seeing your private profile—the app doesn’t even show you how many messages you’ve exchanged with people.

Tinder is free to download and use—not many other dating sites offer such a wide range of amenities for free. This is the modern dating age—if you want to stay in touch with everyone, it’s going to cost you—so consider this the perfect dating app for you.

Send her a message

You know the drill. If you haven’t been able to decide whether or not you want to start a conversation with someone, use Tinder’s built-in messaging system to spark your interest. For instance, if you’re trying to decide whether you’d like to start talking to someone on a dating site or on a message board, try this.

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Whether you prefer to meet potential partners over an online or off-line app or in the middle of a crowded bar, this guide will prepare you to step into the dating world confidently and change the way you look at online and offline dating.

Step 1: Set some ground rules. Most first dates are casual and easy—and most couples don’t get past the first date—but you’re not going to get to that point if you behave like a jerk on your first date. Or if you can’t communicate with your date at all. What can you do that will set the stage for a smooth date that will leave you both wanting more?

First, let’s establish some ground rules. Online dating is great because you can talk to people before you actually meet them in person, but you still need to approach this relationship as if you were meeting someone for the first time. As a general rule, try to keep the following ten points in mind when you’re on a first date:

1) Be polite.

That’s important, because if you’re rude, it’s going to be harder to get a second date, which is what you’re hoping for.

Most people want to talk about themselves on a first date, and there are a lot of things they will bring up that they don’t even realize they are going to talk about—but you want to avoid that. You’re out to find love, and that’s a very personal topic.

If you’re really into your date, you can jump into a topic, but make sure the other person is comfortable first. Being polite and respectful of someone else’s time is also a great way to begin a conversation—not to mention you’ll probably have a great time!

2) Be cool, calm, and collected.

Dating a total stranger can sometimes turn out to be a little nerve-wracking, but it’s still the best way to meet someone and begin a relationship. Usually, your date is going to ask you if you’re okay, if you’re nervous, or if you’re having fun.

The best advice is to let your natural enthusiasm for your date be your guide to making a good impression. If you find yourself worried or intimidated, simply say, “It’s good to see you,” and go with the flow.

3) Be open and honest.

You don’t want to get caught in a lie or be one of those people who lies to get their

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